All I want now

All I want now is to have back the time: The time spent searching for the moment of the fall, the precise moment when having done, said, thought X must have led to Y. All I want now is to have back the time spent sifting through all the possible Xs in a silent frenzy; […]

Unlike grief

Unlike grief, death was what I thought it might be. What I hoped it would be, even, as it turned out. Death was life’s last courtesy to my father, who had always been so lucky until he was lucky no more. He was fortunate in the way he died. This belief is not, I don’t […]

And yet

And yet, in spite of my recent obsession with loss, the feeling of being abandoned is not a new sensation. Taking up from where we left off, he might say, and I would agree. He stayed away for a whole year, or that is what I remember. So his brazenness in dying, in leaving me […]